When All Isn't Alright

Photograph by Josiah Kee

I’ll be the first to admit that it has been far too long since I have sat down at this computer screen and started to put words to paper so that I can simply share thoughts about our everyday life here on our 3CC platform. I have a trailer load of excuses, but none of them are good ones. The simple truth is that it’s been an up and down year for my family and for some of us here at 3CC. I’m fully aware of all the blessings God has poured out on my life and I'm grateful for them. I certainly am not blind to them. I am blessed beyond measure! But blessings don’t make anyone immune to the valleys of life. The reality of the matter is that life seems to ebb and flow in seasons – not all that different than the Missouri weather.

The summer has been brutal here – especially so for farmers. It has been hot, but even worse it has been destructively dry. Ponds are drying up, hay is scarce, and bean and corn yields are much lower than usual for most farmers. There is a tangible desperation for rain that is in the air. The drought has left food plots that we’ve planted to provide sources of food for our deer and turkey populations stunted and a far cry from the thick, lush fields of leafy greens that have attracted game from the surrounding areas in years past.

Over the course of the last year, like so many around our country, we have been battered and beaten by an economy that has tanked and a political and societal climate that are like that of a poorly written chapter of The Hunger Games series. Closer to home, there have been more than a few unexpected issues that sure have put a whoopin' on our plans and morale. In the last 14 months, my son Kaleb had an emergency appendectomy, endured the tests, scans, x rays, MRIs, and rehab that came with a partially torn meniscus in his left knee that has proven to be quite the nagging hindrance for him. Unexpected repairs on top of routine maintenance on family vehicles adds up on top of the addition of a new driver and the tidal wave impact that has on a family’s insurance. And then there is parenting. I am blessed with two incredible young adults who live their life the right way (as far as I know). But man, being a teenager in 2023 is tremendously more difficult than it was for me back in the 90’s. I don’t envy the teenage world of today that is saturated with the pressures of social media, a world that claims right as wrong and wrong as right, and the weight of the expectations of a world that seems to breed entitlement and deception for our young people. As a parent, the weight of the world that they didn't ask to grow up in almost is overwhelming. I can't begin to fathom the crushing pressure it leaves them under.

Before you tune me out and just skip out on the rest of this, let me just say I hope I don’t come across as a whiny, cranky old man who spends most of his life looking at the glass as half empty instead of just being grateful for the reality there is water in the glass. Again, I'm aware of the blessings that God has poured out on my family and me. They are too many to count and I’m grateful for the provision, protection, and patience He has brought our family. But I’ve also come to grips with an important lesson that I likely would have never learned had I not walked through these more difficult days that many find themselves walking through. Afterall, there are a boatload of lessons we would never come face to face with had we escaped the storms.

Afterall, there are a boatload of lessons we would have never come face to face with had we escaped the storms.

Simply put. . . it’s ok not to be ok. I have recently been reading the book of Habakkuk in the Old Testament in the Bible. The entire first chapter is like an older account of some of the happenings going on in the world around us. The author, Habakkuk, a prophet writing about this encounter with God in the form of a dream, spends the better portion of chapter one complaining and bringing his frustrations to God. Of course, along with the complaints of how unfair life can be, Habakkuk – like so many of us I would speculate – not only had a tremendous number of complaints, but “suggestions” as to how God could do His job more effectively and efficiently. In verse 5 of that first chapter though, God provides His first response to Habakkuk’s arguments.

5 The Lord replied, “Look around at the nations; look and be amazed! For I am doing something in your own day, something you wouldn’t believe even if someone told you about.”

I have found this verse to be a gust of wind in my sails. In all the tough stuff of the last year and half, I’ve never felt abandoned or forsaken by my few close friends, my family, or especially God. The reality of the matter is that I have come face to face with a promise that was given to an Old Testament prophet by way of a dream, that God is always working on things and doing things that only He can do that we aren’t even aware of in this thing we call life. He goes on in this verse and He reminds us that even if He did tell us what He is doing, our often-overestimated brains couldn’t comprehend it. The reality is we will all experience seasons where we must admit we aren’t ok. AND THAT’S OK!!

No doubt, drought always takes a toll on the things that need the rain to survive. But sometimes, the dryer it gets, the sweeter the rain when it comes.

God has used these last several months to remind me of some important truths. One, God is big enough to handle my questions, complaints, and my confusion. I grew up thinking that God would be disrespected and angry with me if I didn’t just nod my head and move along. Often quite the opposite is true. God not only is big enough to handle our questions, but He really desires that we would trust Him with them. Secondly, God has already done enough good things in and around our lives that we shouldn’t have to look far to find something to be grateful for. Lastly, no matter the season, we can rest on the promise that God is fighting for us and that he is doing something that far exceeds our expectations and imagination.

When all the things aren’t alright, instead of feeling broken beyond repair, my prayer is that I can be more mindful that it’s ok not to be ok. And just because I’m not in the best or most comfortable season of my life, doesn’t mean that I’ve failed, that God has abandoned me, or that He hasn’t been hearing my prayers. On the contrary, God’s likely trying to teach me something, grow and mature me, and working on something that will likely blow my mind when I look back at it in the future. No doubt, drought always takes a toll on the things that need the rain to survive. Sometimes, the dryer it gets, the sweeter the rain when it comes.